sarcastic-snowflake:

So every morning I get off the train and start my 20 minute walk to work, and there’s this guy who’s always like 3 steps ahead of me and always beats me to the street corner bc I get stopped by the light and he passes it. but today I was ahead of him for the first time and he RUNS in front of me, turns around and goes “I’ve been winning for 2 months now, can’t stop now, have a good day, see you tomorrow.”  tmrw I swear i’m wearing running shoes to work. 

king-18:

neck kissing is honestly the hottest, most seductive thing anybody could ever do to me. if you kiss my neck, if you playfully bite my neck, if your tongue touches my neck i will melt in your fingertips.

(Source: insanihty)

mikalhvi:

full-onrainstorm:

WHAT WOULD POSSES YOU TO LEAVE GOOGLE FOR BING

"Did you mean: Congratulations TRAITOR!" that’s fucking priceless.

mikalhvi:

full-onrainstorm:

WHAT WOULD POSSES YOU TO LEAVE GOOGLE FOR BING

"Did you mean: Congratulations TRAITOR!" that’s fucking priceless.

WHEN ONE IS EXPECTING

maliciaous:

imyourdestinymotherfucker:

Today, I bought this book (for my sister, lets clarify that now ‘cause the only way I’m going anywhere near sperm is if I fall into a vat of it):

image

BUT WAIT

THIS:

image

IS:

image

SOME:

image

OF THE BRILLIANT:

image

STUFF IT HAS IN IT:

image

WHAT THE HELL

neverjustasimplelife:

bonsoirgrenouille:

cash or credit, fuckboy


the skeleton war gets expensive, causing poor skeletons to get retail jobs to pay for the rising costs of war. tell ur friends.

neverjustasimplelife:

bonsoirgrenouille:

cash or credit, fuckboy

the skeleton war gets expensive, causing poor skeletons to get retail jobs to pay for the rising costs of war. tell ur friends.

punacceptable:

if ur a humor blog u should reblog my selfies bc theyre a joke

Though Mean Girls was rated PG-13 for “sexual content, language, and some teen partying,” that was a rating Paramount had to fight for, says Waters. “We had lots of battles with the ratings board on the movie. There was the line, ‘Amber D’Lessio gave a blow job to a hot dog,’ which eventually became ‘Amber D’Lessio made out with a hot dog.’ Which is somehow weirder! That’s the thing we found: When you’re trying to make a joke obey the rules and not use any bad words, it can actually become seamier, even.” Still, there were some things that Waters simply refused to change. “The line in the sand that I drew was the joke about the wide-set vagina. The ratings board said, ‘We can’t give you a PG-13 unless you cut that line.’ We ended up playing the card that the ratings board was sexist, because Anchorman had just come out, and Ron Burgundy had an erection in one scene, and that was PG-13. We told them, ‘You’re only saying this because it’s a girl, and she’s talking about a part of her anatomy. There’s no sexual context whatsoever, and to say this is restrictive to an audience of girls is demeaning to all women.’ And they eventually had to back down.”

—don’t fuck with tina fey (via brokenclocksrighttwiceaday)

(Source: helenaoftroy)

There is no exquisite beauty… without some strangeness in the proportion.

Edgar Allan Poe (via feellng)

meatbicyclevevo:

toyota:

reallynotgood:

disgusting

Can he die already

jesus fucking christ

(Source: demetrialuvater)

puto1:

image

it’s almost spoopy time.

image

lampsarepeopletoo:

i dont even sleep anymore i just die for a couple hours each day

foenix-fire:

bottom-bitch-barnes:

d-o-r-ia-n:

little-crazy-misha-minion:

thereaintnorestforthefandoms:

queen-of-the-rising-demons:

The Four Founders of Hogwarts.

This fucked me up for a good 5 minutes.

oh

Oh God…

OHH

BRUH

and all their personalities are SPOT ON

(Source: georgies-closet)